Google: from search engine to deity
All hail Gooooooogle
Alex Giese
Issue date: 2/5/09 Section: Fun House
Google: that monstrously popular search engine that always delivers porn on the first result. (Not to be confused with googol, that one really, really, big number with a hundred zeroes.)
It's hard to imagine life without Go
ogle. How many times has your friend Google saved you from procrastination with research being a click away?
If you've ever used Google's image service, you know it's a sexual deviant. Oh, and don't ever Google image "brown recluse." EVER. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Regardless of its explicit and potentially psychologically damaging image repository, if you ask anyone down the street, they'll say Google is the greatest thing since Chia pets.
Google seems to be so awesome that a couple of folks have deified it (www.thechurchofgoogle.org). Here lie several arguments that Google "is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual god (as typically defined)."
BLASPHEMOUS!
Who in their right mind would call a piece of the Internet godly?! Jesus, Buddha, and I are pretty good pals, and we all think calling a piece of software "god" is quite ridiculous. However, I do wonder if Googlists have wooden G's hanging above their door instead of a cross.
You know, people think that Google is the hizzie-rizzy-off-the-bo-shizy.
I beg to differ. With a little luck and a little research, I've found nearly the opposite.
Well…okay, actually, just put the word "Google" into Google.
Still, I have found that those folks at the Googleplex (Google's company headquarters) have some pretty nasty ambitions. I'd argue that they're going for world domination with the front that they are merely a "god."
First, look at Google's unofficial motto: "Don't be evil." This is one of the oldest-and least effective-tricks in the book: hide the obvious by stating the opposite. It means they probably are, in fact, undoubtedly evil. It's like me wearing a shirt saying, "I am not a jackass."
It's hard to imagine life without Go
ogle. How many times has your friend Google saved you from procrastination with research being a click away?
If you've ever used Google's image service, you know it's a sexual deviant. Oh, and don't ever Google image "brown recluse." EVER. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Regardless of its explicit and potentially psychologically damaging image repository, if you ask anyone down the street, they'll say Google is the greatest thing since Chia pets.
Google seems to be so awesome that a couple of folks have deified it (www.thechurchofgoogle.org). Here lie several arguments that Google "is the closest humankind has ever come to directly experiencing an actual god (as typically defined)."
BLASPHEMOUS!
Who in their right mind would call a piece of the Internet godly?! Jesus, Buddha, and I are pretty good pals, and we all think calling a piece of software "god" is quite ridiculous. However, I do wonder if Googlists have wooden G's hanging above their door instead of a cross.
You know, people think that Google is the hizzie-rizzy-off-the-bo-shizy.
I beg to differ. With a little luck and a little research, I've found nearly the opposite.
Well…okay, actually, just put the word "Google" into Google.
Still, I have found that those folks at the Googleplex (Google's company headquarters) have some pretty nasty ambitions. I'd argue that they're going for world domination with the front that they are merely a "god."
First, look at Google's unofficial motto: "Don't be evil." This is one of the oldest-and least effective-tricks in the book: hide the obvious by stating the opposite. It means they probably are, in fact, undoubtedly evil. It's like me wearing a shirt saying, "I am not a jackass."
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