Lakeland Mirror

Issue date: 1/28/10 Section: Fun House

Media Credit: Jessica Lillie

The world became a darker place at approximately 8:35 a.m. this morning, as Xbox 360 serial #354780N2, known amongst his friends as Jorge, finally succumbed to the Red Ring of Death. His power plug was pulled shortly thereafter upon his request.

Microsoft was the first to be contacted about Jorge's passing and shared these touching words: "Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line. A Microsoft representative will be with you shortly."

In honor of the fallen, the touching heartfelt sounds of Michael Bolton's "Missing You Now" were heard through the crackly ear piece, but still touched the heart strings of this reporter.

Jorge led a long and fruitful life. Reaching every corner of the world and even galaxy, a long standing veteran of all three Halo wars, as well as a survivor of the zombie-ridden mall of Willamette, Colorado; Jorge left many games unfinished. He touched and controlled many lives, as well as had an automobile collection large enough to make Jay Leno jealous.

Due to his sudden death, the wake and funeral arrangements have yet to be announced, but will be posted shortly by friends and family members. In his passing, Jorge requested that his organs be donated and his body recycled into a new, more agile gaming system or smart phone, and hopes it will live a long and fruitful life backed by a 30-day warranty (extra for the extended warranty.)

Remember this day, my friends, for the Red Ring of Death is a serious disorder that strikes indiscriminately. Be it new or lightly used, it can happen to you or someone you love. Pray your warranty isn't expired when it does.

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